The Fans


A few years ago there was this band that was struggling to win any fans in their hometown. By day the drummer was a scientist, the guitarist a gardener and the bassist a greenhouse salesman. It’s tricky making money in a band so you must understand that most people in bands have day jobs, and these were theirs.

Like I said, the band were struggling to make any fans at all, which they couldn’t understand because they thought what they were doing was good.

One night just after another gig playing to a largely empty room the drummer collected a sample of spit off the lip of an in use pint glass of one of the pub punters. He told the guitarist this and then the guitarist told the bassist. They then concocted a plan.

The next day the band went to the bassist’s greenhouse shop and the drummer brought some scientific kit, mainly consisting of a bell jar and pipes. The guitarist suggested they fill the jar up with water and put the spit sample in. Then the bassist suggested they leave the set up in one of his greenhouses.

In the morning whilst opening up his greenhouse shop the bassist checked how the jar was doing. To his surprise a foetus had appeared in the bell jar. Immediately he rang his band mates and told them the exciting news. They all agreed to leave the foetus in the jar to grow, and after nine weeks the foetus had grown into a miniature human.

By the time the band played another gig the human was fully grown and decided to come and see his parents play. For the first time ever the band had a true fan, as the bell jar grown human thought their stuff was great.